I guess it is just the nature of being in a ministry long enough to see the ebb and flow. But God, we just get a little discouraged every now and then because we pour in as much as we can and sometimes we see so very little in return. I know part of the problem is attempting ministry in our own strength far too often. Juggling work, the girls, and ministry has made survival-mode the daily operating system rather than once in a while during stressful seasons.
Lord, since we can't physically stop all of these things and maintain ...well, paychecks for one... grant us peace that surpasses understanding. And out of the midst of that peace, bring clarity to our plans and purposes. Help us find inroads back into lost territory. Help us make stronger connections where they are only holding by a thin thread. Basically, just help us.
It seems in scripture that Paul was always hopping...even when he was waiting, he was busy writing, encouraging churches hundreds of miles - and years! - away. But he wrote about contentment, peace, the opposite of what you'd expect from someone whose life was in danger more times than he was safe.
So, we soldier on, surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. We surrender to your leadership, knowing that even the valley is not out of your reach.
Lead us in paths of righteousness for Your name's sake.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Penalty on the offense.
Holding (a cupcake)
5 pound penalty.
No, I didn't make the goal. In fact, I moved in the opposite direction. Not quite sure how except that perhaps my previous weight loss was overestimated by our inconsistent scale. That's very possible. But I'm still so close. So close that I'm watching the scale every day...sometimes more than once a day.
It's like waiting for that cute boy you just met at the mixer who asked for your number to call. So close. And I just know he's the one.
But then there were chocolate cupcakes at Bible study on Sunday night. And Dr. Pepper. And Cheetos. I have avoided ALL these things for 20 days. If it takes 21 days to form a new habit, then I feel like I need to start all over. I have tracked....even my transgressions....for the entire time. So that's a small victory.
How am I undoing the damage?
Well, for one, I am not excusing myself. I am taking full responsibility. Yes, I did eat the cupcake. And the cheetos. And two cups of Dr. Pepper. Yes, it was delicious. Yes, I ate it like "someone" I know writes checks at the end of the month...."I can make up for this later. The money will be in the account before the check clears." Wow, what a downward spiral that leads to.
Second, it's time to call in reinforcement: Exercise, and LOTS of it. Discipline begets discipine. If I can budget my food, if I can budget for our living expenses, then I should be able to budget time for exercise. It's going to be late at night after my twin two year olds have gone to bed. And on rainy days, I will do some Wii Fit.
Third, we cancelled our satellite provider today. I am done having my brain and energy sucked out of me by Guy Fieri, so tata to TV.
Fourth, I am going to bring my own snack to Bible study....including this week's, which is a SuperBowl party. Fortunately, it is at our house, so I will plan the snack as my meal. I will measure out my portions, using the scanner whenever possible so I can be accurate. And I will weigh before the party starts so I can see how close I am to the goal and not pull what LSU pulled the one time Ole Miss beat them a couple of years ago and think that there was more time left on the clock.
Because there's not.
I have two two-year olds. The fat girl that wears my shoes needs to be able to get down on the floor with them. She needs to be able to ride bikes with them when they're old enough. She needs to not be embarassed to sit at the table with other moms on field trips because she feels self conscious about her weight....thereby imparting a generational lack of self-confidence in her daughters.
The cupcake's not worth it.
I'm here for the playoffs.