Yesterday afternoon, I watched "Lorenzo's Oil" for the first time. The passionate pursuit of those parents to learn biochemistry and neurology for the sake of finding a cure for their son consumed me for two and a half hours.
I couldn't even make it through the movie without getting up and walking around the house.
I have the stamina of a ... oh look. A chicken!
See? I couldn't even finish that sentence. I started thinking about other things I've taken part in, other ministries I have been involved in. I really hate struggle. I think that's why God chose adoption for us. He knew the only way I would learn this process would be to have something where the end benefit for me would be worth all the effort I had to put in.
Things that have been worth the effort: recording a CD, learning to play the guitar, learning Spanish, training my dog to fall down when I say "Bang!" [She won't do it for anyone but me just yet. Too easily distrac... ooh, another chicken!]
In the course of the last year, even more than the previous year of fertility treatments, I have prayed more, planned more, worked more, and met more people doing the same thing, than I ever did in any other pursuit. But if I were in the place of Lorenzo's mother, could I keep going? Like she said to her sister in the movie, "Spoken like someone who has never raised a child." I know, motherly love will change me and enable me to sacrifice myself for my child like I've never done before.
But, missions I do have experience with. Yesterday, we also had two missionaries come speak. They live in a tiny apartment in an Asian country, in a region where the air is filled with coal dust. When they take a shower, water covers the whole bathroom. When they want to wash clothes, they have to carry the washing machine into the tub and hook up the water lines. They have to purify their water before they eat, drink, cook, or wash dishes with it. They make daily sacrifices to live in an area that needs the gospel. They keep doing it without giving up, knowing that their labor will produce fruit that glorifies God.
And I can't even make it out of World 1 on Super Mario.
So now what? Well, I know that to live in light of knowledge gained and do nothing is sin for me. No, I am not going to spend the summer playing Super Mario. But I want to do something. Something meaningful. Something that saves a life. Even if it's mine.