90 seconds

Saturday is the big day. 90 seconds between me and a new door.

I've just been thinking about all that this weekend means for me. There is no guaranteed contract involved. This ain't American Idol. But it's something. It's something that I hoped early connections I had made would turn into about nine years ago, when I was young and skinnier. You can say "Better late than never," but the fact that we are so far removed from those early days of wanting to break in as a performer, as well as a songwriter, really changes the dynamics of my game and my end goal. At some point, if this goes as well as I kinda feel it might, I may have to evaluate what that goal is. I just want to be obedient.

God, give me the spirit of Caleb - who in his ripe old age of 84 cried out, "Give me the hill country!"

Old and New

I just found my old blog. I started it in 2006, and gave it a WEAK try, as far as consistency goes. But check out my content and you'll see why. It was DEEP, man! There's no way I could keep up with that level. I loved the setting and the title, though. I just can't remember my login information anymore or I'd merge the two. For now, you can read up on my last few posts here.

The ironic thing is that my last post is about wanting to record again but not feeling that I had the blessing of God on another endeavor like I had on the first. That was May 23, 2007.

Fastforward two years and some change, and here I am - itching even more to get into a studio. Like the old door in my classroom, there's a sliver of white light coming from a one inch crack at the side. Is this opening for me?

I just got off the phone with a conference call of about 20 artists and songwriters who will be auditioning in NashVegas a week from Saturday. Here's how it all breaks down. Early Saturday morning, I will sing for 90 seconds a clip of the nominated song. Then judging will take place. While they deliberate, I will rotate through various seminars on publishing, publicizing, networking, songwriting, marketing....etc. There will be an afternoon break, and then all of the semifinalists will gather in the resort restaurant for a meal and announcement of finalists. All those announced will immediately perform the song which they auditioned with earlier in the day. This time, they get to play the whole thing. There will be as many as 5 industry professionals judging. They will call a winner in both the artist and songwriter categories. Winners receive one-on-one collaboration with an industry mentor to help in developing and marketing their music, getting their foot in the door with labels or as indies.

Some of you have been asking about it, so I thought I'd fill you in on the details as I have them.

If my blogs of late have been deficient in value, go check out the old one. Some of that early stuff was really good, if I do say so myself.

Offending the senses

To all dodgeball players, I sincerely apologize for using cheeky comments that would suggest someone who is visually or horizontally challenged might not be able to compete proficiently. If you want to play dodgeball, then by-golly, play you some dodgeball. Just don't expect to last long in the game.

Oh, and I took off the ads because my husband happened to check in and find objectional content. That, and in six months, I've made a whopping $1.38. I'll never see that money, I'm sure.

Peas.

More on the songwriting competition

So, admittedly, I've been fearing that this whole songwriter talent search thing is just a ruse to sell me a timeshare in Nashville. But it's more put together than that. There are only 15 artist semifinalists and 17 songwriters. The negative side of my brain, which I think is a lot larger than the down to earth side or the look on the bright side, still thinks that only 15 artists and 17 songwriters submitted entries.

And there is a conference call on Thursday to all semifinalists that I have to be in on in order to get all the specs on what I need to know, bring, look like, and be for judging. My negative self thinks they are going to ask me for my bank account number when I call in. And then I will be asked to make a $200 donation to buy a church organ for a new church plant in New Guinnea.

I need counseling.

Here are some people who have been discovered through the Embassy Music Ultimate Talent Showcase in the most recent years:
Leeland "Sound of Melodies": love, love, love them!!
Brandon Green - also of American Idol fame
So, it's real.
I still don't know what finalists "win", other than the chance to perform a full set of music on Saturday night in a listening showcase in front of several record label big-whigs.

These are all the details I really know right now. I'll update Friday after the conference call. But if anyone asks me for a credit card number, I'm out like a near-sighted kid in dodgeball.

Oh, and I almost forgot

I get to go to Nashville on Labor Day weekend to sing one of my original songs in front of some industry professionals. I'm not trying to get discovered as a performing artist as much as a songwriter. I was selected as a semifinalist in a talent search held my Embassy Music, a Christian music managing and recording agency. I'm not really sure the scope of this competition and how many semifinalists are chosen. But I am excited about the possibility, nonetheless. If nothing else, it's going to be a fun weekend in Nashville.

Wish me ....God's will.

A Few Good Updates

This isn't as big a deal to us as it is to people who got their applications in over a year ago, but my social worker forwarded an email today with exciting news: Even though a new Minister of Women and Children's Services in Nepal has not yet been named....and neither has a new Prime Minister....the country's government is starting to send families whose dossiers were approved a year ago notice of matches. There are now at least 25 families who were given the green light to travel. This is great news. There are 180 dossiers that have been approved, so hopefully those waiting families will soon receive word of a match/referral as well.

We're just getting started. Hopefully, we will get to meet our social worker face to face in October....or sooner....as we hand off that first $500 check and our medical forms. We are not among those 180. But we hope that the first few who complete the process can do so quickly and safely, while helping officials streamline procedures to make the whole system work better for future families.

I have been so convinced this year that - Hey! It's not about me! God is so much bigger than my needs and my plans. And we take that scripture too casually which says "He works all things together for our good and His purposes" (JMKV, ha.) Really. All things means ALL THINGS.

I really, focusedly, started praying for our future child this week. Given the time frame we're looking at plus the age we requested of our future child, he or she, or they, are alive right now.... or possibly en utero. But at any rate, sometime in the next couple of months, that child is going to experience a great tragedy that puts it in our hands: illness, death, abandonment, or any combination. I don't know how to minister to that baby. I've got to get prepared now. I NEED a year to get it together. I can't just say - God, give us a child. What I'm asking for is God to move heaven and earth and people to bring ALL THINGS together that make it even a possibility. Remember the big Chinese earthquake of a year ago? Result - hundreds of Chinese families lost their own children. Adoptions in China have slowed down to a 5 year waiting period because the government is giving those grieving families first dibbs to mend some of their brokenness with other abandoned or orphaned children.

I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. But compared to where I was two years ago when we first kicked around the idea of adopting, and had our application in, I'm ready to deal with those feelings, those circumstances, and will probably be a roller-coaster much akin to the fertility hormones I tried taking last year. My poor husband. Y'all pray for him.

P.S. I deactivated my Facebook account. For a while now, I've started to get kinda creeped out by the fishbowl feeling of everyone being able to look in on my life. All my words, pictures, videos...some not put up there with my consent or control...it was just too much. So I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball. You can keep up with me here, where I control the who's and what's. I'll be posting new house pictures soon. We're looking at about four more weeks until we start moving in. MAYBE LESS!!!! Praise God for what has been pretty smooth sailing, except for daily afternoon showers that slowed down the brick layers. Besides crediting it to a godly contractor who wasn't in it to fleece us, I also credit it to my idea book of colors and finishes and floor plans that I've been collecting since I was pretty much in the eighth grade. I knew what I was looking for. For once in my whole life, I was decisive. The moving in will be the hardest part!

Now accepting applications for good movers.
Doesn't pay.

Heavier

Of this one thing, I do not boast.
'Twas quite the gap since my last post.
And quite the summer I have had,
The good, the ugly, and just plain bad.
First the good, a house is born.
Its roof is on, its sides are shorn.
And like unto this brand new home,
We've sent off for our little one.
Or two, or three. We cannot say.
We'll just let Jesus have His way.
The reference letters sent out, too.
Please respond quickly, if that's you.
The summer trips were safe and fun.
But I am glad they're finally done.
The ugly was a broken femur.
Not mine, but my sweet, old mother,
Who'd fuss at me for calling her old.
But still, she's worth her weight in gold.
Or make that surgical steel, instead,
'Cause that's what's holding up her leg.
A few more weeks of therapy,
And then she finally will be free.
And dad can have his Baby Jean
To keep him company and clean.
The bad has come in like the winter,
Cold and hard, and bleak and bitter.
Broken hearts who need their mending,
Soft shoulders who need their lending.
Praying now for brighter days,
Dispelling darkness with His rays
Of hope and love and peace of mind.
And in this vast array, I find
That like this summer's torid fury
Of heat that penetrates so fully,
And suffocates whomever it will,
I find His presence heavier still.