New Blog!!!!

Hey, friends.

If you are in our area, and want to keep up with what's going on at our church, you can go here to read up on announcements. Hopefully that link will work.

Our Sunday School teachers, besides being really nice people, are also creative writers and pretty durn witty. You're sure to get a charge out of anything they post.

By the way, did I mention I will be contributing a weekly devotion? I did? Oh, well. Be sure to check it out.

If you are like we were a couple of years ago, living in an area devoid of anyone your own age and in desperate need of some Christian community, be a long-distance member of our class. Share your prayer requests, read up on the Sunday school lessons and devotions, and share pictures through the upcoming Picasa album. I could have used this so much.

Peace.

"You never call....You never blog."

Don't lose heart, faithful readers. (Do I have any of those?) It has been a hectic couple of weeks. I probably went into too much detail about the "in sickness" part of our anniversary week. It has passed. All is well, physically speaking.

Mentally, I've got "too many mind". Getting back into the swing at school has been difficult - especially considering they disrupted our schedule for state testing practice. And especially, especially considering I wrapped up all my big programs and projects last month. I'm just coasting a little bit now.

I'll spend the next nine weeks trying to talk the 5th graders into signing up for beginner band and showchoir next year. I'll be trying to get the 4th graders to give a flip about Bach, (would that make it a bachflip?) and get a handle on Handle. (I slay me!) For the 3rd grade, we're going to do what they love the best - SING! They always get a big kick out of "The Itsy Bitsy, Teeny-Weenie, Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini". I'll try to work in some musical elements, like melody, harmony, pitch, mood.....blah, blah, blah. Just get me to May!

Other developments are on the horizon. It looks like we'll get to start our adoption application soon. Can't wait. SOOOOOOOO excited. So at peace, this time. As soon as we surrendered to that leading, things began falling into place almost too quickly to comprehend. It has even given me a chance to share my walk with Christ with my coworkers.

Lastly, I'm excited to start contributing to a new blog with some friends from church. I'll put up the link within the week. My part is to add a midweek Bible-study or devotion that extends our Sunday school lesson. I love writing Bible-studies, and can't wait for that. I just finished a 4 part series of character studies for our youth. And I am doing a short one this weekend for just the girls that I'll probably post after Monday.

Hang in there with me. There may be some gaps between offerings, but I promise to make up for it in quality.

Peace.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them all and there you have....

....how I spent my anniversary.

And you thought I was singing the theme song from "Facts of Life".

It was raining nonstop yesterday. We woke up at 10am to the sound of rain on a tin roof. One of my favorite sounds, by the way. Then we took our time getting ready and headed off the Cracker Barrel for some country-fried goodness. We came home and made contact with loan officers at Wells Fargo, Countrywide, and our local bank. Getting into a home isn't going to be too painful, as long as we work out the down payment issue. Our credit was good, and we have a nice offer of 5% interest. Suh-weet!

Then we went to the houseplan gallery to talk about modifications to the floorplan. Also not a big deal. The little dude (himz just a wittle guy) there took all my notes - there were several - and called us by the time we had gotten home after a stop for a mojito snowcone to tell us he had a CAD draft ready for us and was sitting on go.

We were going to grill out for supper but then, the chicken wasn't thawed out enough. Bummer.
So we opted to grab some Mexican. Bad idea. Joe woke up at 2am throwing up his socks. It didn't stop until 12:30pm. He finally fell into a good sleep, and woke up a couple of hours ago talking crazy. It was like he was drunk. I began to question that mojito snowcone, but the thermometer showed a temp of 102.

I figured it was low bp and dehydration. I watch a lot of "House", so I'm pretty good at these things. I got him up and showered and we went to the doctor's office. Because we have sweet connections, we didn't have to sit in the waiting room with all the lesser folk. Just kidding, if you happened to be one of them that saw us breeze right past the sign-in to the back door. Our buddy, the nurse, did a flu test. Negatory, good buddy. So it was a shot of phenergan in the hip, and a quick trip to a happy place. Joe is sacked out on a twin mattress on the floor downstairs, feet from the bathroom, just in case.

And I'm eating a hotdog and mac-n-cheese for supper.

I call Mulligan.

A Hot Mess!

That's me!

I'm sure it is part left-over hormone treatments and part sleep-deprivation, but I just read a story about a dog, and I'm crying my eyes out.

"Why are you sleep-deprived?"

Oh, well, thanks for asking. Just some stupid head cold I picked up from my hubby about two days ago. I haven't been able to breathe out of my mouth or nose. Breathing out of my mouth makes my throat dry out and I cough. A lot. BTW, I have had asthma since I was 2. Breathing out of my nose - well, it would make me die, because there is no open passage there.

Isn't that a lovely way to spend your anniversary? That's right. It's been seven years. I think the Red Hot Chili Peppers put it best when they said, "Roller coaster - of love. Roller coaster....oo hoo hoo hoo." That's what this love has been. From the very beginning, we have had our ups and downs. Downs are not bad. On a roller coaster, that's where all the fun is had.

We've been saving money for that Honduras mission trip lately, so we haven't had any extra cash. And we haven't been going out as much as we normally like to. We've been spending evenings at home playing video games, watching movies, and I have picked up and dusted off my paint brushes to make some baby-shower gifts for church friends. Some couples need constant stimulation and diversion, but in this "slow economy" - whatever - all we need is each other, and some creativity. And a 6 year old PS2. (Although if anyone wants to give us a Wii as an anniversary gift, who am I to say no?)

On a roller coaster, it's the uphill climb that is the most difficult part. There's always the question of "Is all this effort going to be worth the return?" There have been moments in our journey where we worked really hard going up a hill in a crisis that didn't give us much satisfaction once the situation was averted. Knowing we grew stronger, wiser, or more faithful wasn't always appreciated at the time.

I read an article in a Christian magazine this month about the thing that sets successful couples apart from those that fail. The difference? Sacrifice. Even those couples who hit rock bottom can make it if they don't hold on to an American sense of entitlement. If they can give, if they can hang on to the bigger picture of the Kingdom of God, and if they can look at the Father and the Son, and see the amount of obedience and sacrifice in that love relationship, they'll survive.

I have never really feared that the day would come when Joe and I wouldn't make it. For any disappointments or insecurities we have had, I think we have had more love and companionship and friendship and sacrifice than the former. And I am grateful for all of it.

I love you, Joe.

Ooo hoo hoo hoo!

Singing the Blues....

This week's been a doozie

'Bout to overtake me

Took a walk through the clover

And stepped right on a bee

My toe swole up like a blowfish

My foot ached all night long

That's why I'm singing my

"It's been a crappy week" song

My throat started hurting

Couldn't sleep last night

Couldn't breathe out of my nose

Sure haven't felt just right

I tossed and turned on my pillow

Just waiting for the alarm

That's why I'm singing my

"It's been a crappy week" song

The kids have all been on crack

They're driving me up the wall

Now the bell has rung

It's time for some fun

But I've got no money at all

Spring Break starts tomorrow

And our anniversary's soon

But I'll spend mine at the DMV

and the doctor's each afternoon

At least I can sleep in late

And maybe go for a walk or two

All the while singing my

"It's been a crappy week" blues

Oh..... yeah.....

It's Funny....

Now that I know what we're supposed to do, I just can't wait to do it. I don't know if I'm in a situation like Abraham - where the promise and the fulfillment are about twenty years apart. Or maybe like Joseph - who had to sit in prison for two years after interpretting the cup-bearer's dream. Or maybe like Moses who started working at his post right away, only for it to take ten plagues and forty years to complete the mission.

More so, I feel like Gideon. "Who, me?" with a little bit of "But I don't have enough ____."

But I am seriously excited about the prospects ahead. Right now, we're researching Nepal as a potential country. I didn't know that Nepal became a democratic republic just last year. This explains why it was never a choice on any of the adoption websites we originally perused. Their first elected president took office on MY BIRTHDAY last year.

Any guesses what my birthday wish was for?

Anyways, the change in their political infrastructure [gosh, that makes me sound smart] has opened up doors for the necessary relationships to make international adoption a possibility. The summer our heart was turned toward adoption was the height of political unrest, with some civil violence, making it a turbulent place. All of that was setting the stage for Nepal's new day.

The Lord sets up and deposes kings. Literally. Nepal was a monarchist nation previously.

Now, all I need is some of that good favor that Nehemiah received whenever he was given all the supplies, all the laborers, everything he needed to rebuild Jerusalem. Whenever You're ready, Lord!

I'm thinking through the words to a song I wrote about Joseph a couple of years ago, when in a different kind of waiting situation. {Thanks Becky Brown, for the inspiration!}

If days were like colors, there are days in my life that I would color gray

Shadows and pain that followed me then, and some still with me today

No more empty questions, give me the faith to see with spiritual eyes

The patient skill of the Master's hands and how they've moved in my life

What I thought was a prison cell - was a waiting room

While you were setting the stage for a dream come true

Every moment that brought me here, in the passage of time

Was your grand design in this tapestry of life

So it is. And if you've never seen Indian or Nepali tapestries, you are really missing out! I can't wait to see them up close. I just hope it's not in 20 years.

{If none of those character references made sense to you, go read your Old Testament. It's fully awesome!}

An unusual week....

I had the "can't get rights" about getting to school this week. I was pushing it every morning. This is not unusual.

I had fun eating out with friends from church, and whooped tail playing "Beyond Balderdash" even though I didn't end up winning. This isn't unusual either.

I got back on track with my scripture reading, then back off again, then back on and realized how much I missed my routine of spending time with God. Again, not that unusual.

Then the week took some unexpected turns.

I was told that my classroom was getting new windows, and I was going to have to do music class out of a box and go from room to room. This began yesterday. It was not a lot of fun, but I did get some good walking in. I want to start wearing a pedometer.

This morning, I woke up early - when all I wanted to do all week long was sleep in. I don't have anywhere to be until 2pm. But at 7:45, I was strapping on running shoes for a walk through the neighborhood. After about a mile-plus, I walked to my brother's house and borrowed his wife's bike and rode another mile. I realize that's not very far on a bike. But our neighborhood is hilly and I'm a wuss. Still, I'm proud of myself for taking some initiative. This is unusual.

But the biggest event happened early in the week - between Monday and Tuesday. Because I'm the type that has to tell you how the watch works before I can tell you what time it is, here is the background.

I mentioned in a previous blog that we were at the point of needed to make some decisions about fertility treatment. The doctor said give it a couple more months and work out the timing of the blood work. But this month, using basal readings and ov testers, plus the less than stellar progesterone test results, we got a pretty conclusive answer that at this level of treatment, nothing is going to happen. I wasn't devastated by this. But it was the daily pain of seeing my body temp and knowing it wasn't high enough, and seeing the ov strip and knowing it wasn't blue enough.

It was getting difficult to function. I can't take the ups and downs, well, mostly the downs. It has been nine months of medication and roller coasters. I've gotten some pretty creative blogs out of the deal. But I was reaching my breaking point - which is usually when God steps in. On Monday morning, the only morning that I had extra time before I had to leave for school, I plopped down on the bed with my Psalms journal.

These were the scriptures: Psalm 121, and Psalm 34:17-18. I read the passage about God being near to the brokenhearted and almost lost it. Not because it was sweet and sensitive and ministering to me. Rather, I was having a hard time believing it. It said that the ears of the Lord are attentive to the cries of the downtrodden. Really? Then why the denial of this cry from my heart of hearts? I wrote these questions down in the journal.

Sometimes, when my heart is breaking open, I can hear God speaking to me. It's never quite what I expect to hear, but it is always scriptural, godly wisdom. It is the whisper of the Holy Spirit guiding me into His truth (John 14 &16). When it happens, I change my handwriting in the journals so I can see where I end, and His voice begins. Here is the exchange that took place Monday morning.

"Lord, in all honesty, it's hard to read 34:18 and feel that it applies to me

when I've cried so long for a child."

"What you don't know is there is a brokenhearted child

somewhere in this world, crying out for you.

Why would you think that I don't hear you?"

I felt so small in that moment. And then at total peace as I gave in to the idea that this whole raising-a-child thing isn't just about me. It's about the child that we're given. Before we tried to get pregnant, starting last summer, I had not yet gotten to that place of total surrender about the adoption idea. I tried to. It sounded noble, and all, but I wasn't totally committed to it yet, like Joe was. The funny thing is once we started trying, I got more comfortable with it. And Joe got less. He got attached to the idea that we were going to have our own child. I really didn't understand until the last couple of months how big a blow my negative tests were dealing him. Even though the problem was with my genetics, he was reeling with me each time I collapsed in tears - which, when you're on so many hormones, happens quite frequently.

So, Monday, I decided I have had enough. No more medication. No more stupid blood tests and ov strips and thermometers at dark-thirty in the morning. I was ready to pursue adoption.

Now the only question was - what kind? Domestic? International? Caucasian? Bi-racial? Same agency or different one? I'm not sure of the final answer on this. It's going to take a lot of prayer. We're drawn to Asia. We've got extended family from the Philippines, and it's important to me that our children feel like they fit in. And we're not going to start our application until the house gets started. But we have finalized our houseplan. I think. At least for this week. It had better happen soon, because we are going to apply for our loan during spring break.

I will leave with this scripture, because I think it is going to point us toward the destination for our adoption.

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who make heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

Recipe for Chunky Cheeseburger Soup to Follow

I love to teach. Not music. That's just a paycheck. I love to teach God's word. I get excited about it. I get passionate about it. When I lead worship, I do it as a teacher. My goal is to get people to understand God and his word better. So, why don't I spend more time in it than I do?

I have done what I promised to do, and I've gotten back on track with my Bible reading. I'm doubling up so I will be all caught up by April. Here is what I missed out on in the meantime.

Exodus.

Isn't it just like chunky cheeseburger soup for the soul? (See Title. That chicken-noodle mess is for wussies.) I have to admit, I had some real problems with what I perceived to be a capriciousness in the sovereignty of God. Those were MY problems, though, not his. Perception is a lot like assumption, except the only one made an _ _ _ of is not me and U. It's just me.

I have to remind myself that the Bible isn't my high school yearbook. I am not supposed to be reading it to see just how it affects me. I should see a scarlet thread weaving itself through the pages - the passion of Christ as the plot line.

In rereading Exodus, and scratching my head, wondering - "WHY does God keep hardening Pharoah's heart? Why doesn't he just do away with him, already?" And it struck me.

Passover.

God told Pharoah through Moses that HE was doing all these things in order to reveal His power to Pharoah and the rest of the world. It was all about the LAMB, getting to that point in the plagues where the firstborn would be taken, unless a family had marked itself with the blood of the Lamb.

There's the scarlet thread. There is Christ's passion.

Behold the Lamb of God which takes away the sins of the world.