Monday, October 20, 2008

Catching my breath

So, the canker sores are still hanging on for dear life. It's kinda scriptural in a way, because the old have gone, and new have come.

In spite of the glorious fall weather, of the first time seeing my breath in the mornings, I find myself in one of those not-so-rare moods of disgust and skin crawly-ness about little inconveniences. Much like last week, when my husband almost got raw hamburger in the face for his helpful hints for forming the patties, I am in no mood to be messed with. It seems that even though I can now see my breath, I still can't catch it.

Finish this phrase: "I am sick and _____". No, not deflicted. Not this time. I'm sick and tired.

I find myself tired of my routine, tired of lack of respect at my work. "It's just music." Do they not understand how many of these below-average students will need some other fine arts or athletic door to make college a reality in their futures. I'm tired that my days are so tightly wound. Monday night is music lessons and band practice till 9pm. Tuesdays is menu planning and grocery shopping - except that this week, we are peeling up loose floor tiles to get ready for carpeting. Yay! Wednesdays is church, and supper after. We don't get home until - yup, 9pm.

Thursday is my most and least favorite day of the week. Most, because we don't ever have anything planned, and we can do something fun and nice. Least, because it usually hits me during dinner that I have to get up the next morning for one more freakin' day of school.

Weekends are taken up with youth or AWANA or young adult activities, which are usually fun but don't leave much time for family.

Did I mention we're trying to get PREGNANT!!!!!

I know I rant once in a while about needing more peace, needing more balance in my life. Taking more time in the mornings is good. I'm still getting up in time to soak in my scripture reading and my coffee in the mornings. I'd like to get some walking in everyday, and some more sitting, snuggling, snapping pictures (my latest hobby), and writing. But I feel like everything in my life is already being measured in 10 minute increments. Where would it all go?

"O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!" Psalm 39:4-5

You said it, Dave.

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